It’s been ages since I’ve written…
I have longed to write within this blog and have been bound by the whirlwinds of life, disabling me. I cannot thank those enough that have sent replies to the words that God burned through me. They gave me much encouragement over this past year. It was a year of wonderful trials and tribulations counteracted by the joys I dreamed to experience since I first came to scratch the surface of the concept of love. It is a much needed other entry, the ‘love’ that I speak of, but for now I will leave it at- God blessed me with the most beautiful woman I could ever dream of. ‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD’ –Proverbs 18:22.
There was a point during the course of the last year and a half where I found myself in my car driving to school (also another entry), during the drive my thoughts were burdened with feeling as though I was neglecting a lot of areas that God would need me…and then I heard His still small voice say, ‘Chris, I have brought the most incredible blessing apart from myself into your life. She is going to be there with you for the rest of your life and that is important to Me. It is one of the strongest foundations I will need to lay down for the path that I have for you. You are so busy worrying about everything and everyone else that you have missed one of the greatest ways I have worked through you. Do you see how much Rachel has grown with ME? Do you see how much you have grown with ME? This is the only place I am calling you to right now. Embrace it and all that I am doing in it because it means more than you could ever comprehend right now.’
With limited words I say, ‘finding what is good and receiving favor from the LORD’ (my wife) has and continues to be a blessing that I never understood could be as amazing as it is. As mentioned though, it will have to wait for another entry. I have plenty of material to share as I spent everyday for the last five months writing in a journal to my (now) wife and God’s hands are all over those pages. I look forward very much to sharing His blessings!
For now, I feel it burning on my heart to share something else. Rachel and I returned from our honeymoon two nights ago. I immediately had an audition from my manager for Jerry Bruckheimer’s new pilot, ‘The Whole Truth’. They had to reshoot it and there was a role my manager thought I was perfect for. On the books it looked great: ‘a musician, he’s warm, uncomplicated, non-threatening’, pretty much exactly who I am. Problem was, as I read the material my heart sank. My would-be girlfriend (on the show), Katheryn, came home to her loft/office to me who was in bed. She proceeded to tell me about some…well let’s put it this way because I don’t think I’m actually allowed to disclose the material! essentially, it implied that we were sleeping together and truth be told, she didn’t even really want to seriously date me. For some Christ followers that is okay, for me, God is beating to a different drum within.
I don’t want to glorify what I don’t agree with. Rachel and I waited until we were married to be with each other. Essentially, all we ever did was kiss. I even slept on pillows on the floor whenever we slept in the same location. I’m not saying that both of us did not make many mistakes before we really came to live for God, but I am saying that we both did everything in our power to honor HIM in our relationship and I believe we got some things right.
Here’s my dilemma, I don’t want to portray anything that I believe is not honoring to God. I will portray the things that I don’t believe bring Him glory, if it is portrayed as something wrong, but when it is saying it is okay for two people to be sleeping with one another, prior to marriage, I don’t feel it’s okay. Some followers of Christ feel as though, ‘acting is just a job so it doesn’t matter what you portray on film or television’. Others might be on that type of job, portraying those things, and God is using them in the lives of those around them. But who is actually standing up and saying, ‘No! This isn’t right’. My heart beats to that drum. Again, if God has someone else in that place, for HIS purpose, I say, follow Him where He has led you. For me, if I don’t stand up for what burns so deep within, I’d be lying to you, myself and our awesome God and I would be living a life for money and fame – not for HIS glory.
All we can do is honor the heart HE has given us.
The dilemma thickens. The material out there, in this world of acting, is 95% centered on things that do not bring God glory. He created me to look a way that fits into that ‘non-glorifying’ 95% perfectly. The 5% of material that is actually bringing God glory is quite hard to find and unfortunately it is often material that even the majority of Christians would not want to watch. As I wrote an email to my manager explaining why I will not do those types of roles I felt HIM say, “Don’t worry Chris, My path is My path. I am a God that can ‘open up doors that NO man can open’. Trust Me”. Fortunately, my wife, was right there by my side encouraging me and being everything that I believe God would desire of her.
Blessed…
As Rachel and I woke up this morning we prayed and spent a little time in HIS Word. I felt led to Lamentations 3-5 and here’s what I want to share. Lamentations 4:17 ‘ Moreover, our eyes failed, looking in vain for help; from our towers we watched for a nation that could not save us’. It stung as I read that. Really stung. It made me think of our world. We’re looking to a nation that is in a place, I believe, SO far away from the Lord. Way beyond that of even Sodom and Gomorrah. We are looking to a nation that does not understand God’s ways and keeps embracing everything that is not HIM. We are settling and making excusing for why we can keep doing things that are not of Him… ‘It’s just the way the world is today’ we say. When I grew up, and I’m only 32, the shows on TV reflected morals, they showed righteous integrity. Shows like, ‘Little House on the Prairie’, ‘Flipper’, ‘Our House’. Even shows like, ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ (the original) showed what happened (on occasion) when you made the wrong choices. I remember reading an article on the new 90210 that came out a couple of years ago. To be honest, I was a bit excited as I loved the original. Who wouldn’t love a show that lived and breathed California sunshine, especially when you are in the suburbs of New Jersey…and trust me, I’m not knocking NJ- I love Jersey! The point I was starting to make is this…I believe it was Jennie Garth or Shannen Doherty that said, ‘If Aaron Spelling read this material he would roll over in his grave’ (commenting on the fact that there were no morals). Actually it was Jennie Garth, I believe, because she said ‘she would not do the show unless she played a counselor’. If I am correctly quoting her…I ALWAYS urge you to please verify anything I ever say…do not take my word alone. Please follow Acts 17:11 ‘Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.’ They did not trust Paul (one of God’s greatest tools), so please don’t trust me…kindly. With that said though, I pray, Lord that You will always use me and protect those when I am off- in Jesus’ Precious Name. As I was saying, Jennie Garth said that Aaron Spelling (the creator of the original) would roll over in his grave if he read the material and she did not want to do the show unless she played a counselor; she wanted the show to have some positive influence. I remember watching ten minutes of the first episode and cringing. I believe it was one of the first scenes that showed a girl lifting her head up from giving a guy oral sex in his car that was parked in the school parking lot. If it wasn’t bad enough that she was doing that in the first place, he wasn’t even her boyfriend. That one scene probably made thousands to millions of teenagers think it was okay to have oral sex in high school…and while cheating on your mate…AND prior to marriage period…AND AND sadly, not just okay, but actually something cool to do.
It breaks my heart.
The place that our world is in today, breaks my heart. I know that in God’s perfect time, He will inspire all of HIS children out there with a heart that brings HIM glory and does not compromise.
My prayer is actually taken from the last few verses of Lamentations 5: 19-22 ‘You, O LORD, reign forever; your throne endures from generation to generation. Why do you always forget us? Why do you forsake us so long? Restore us to yourself, O LORD, that we may return; renew our days as of old unless you have utterly rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure’. –in Jesus’ Precious Name- -for Jesus’ Precious gain- . It is obviously our own fault that we are so far away from You Lord. Please look down as You did in the days of Noah and see some of us that know we need You; some of us that know we cannot do this life without You; those of us that humbly accept your continual forgiveness and kindly ask for Your help to enable us to bring You glory, to enable us to be used by You that the lost sheep might know who You are by the way we live and by the way we love You. Help us to simply produce product that glorifies Your image whether in film, TV, clothing or even the way we serve someone food at McDonalds. It has to be for You. I know we are out there.
Thank you Father for hearing this earnest prayer as You promised to. May You please continually provide the strength I need to stay in this mindset and stand firm in the heart You have given me, in Jesus’ Name-for Jesus’ gain.
With love and prayers to you all…chris